It all started in such a
natural, beautiful way. When we saw each other for the first time something
clicked and we just knew we would be together. It was the easiest I’ve ever
done. I just stared into his eyes and he stared back into mine, he nodded and
smiled and that was it. The red and brown leafs flew around my ears when he
walked me home. He was my best friend and my boyfriend and we did everything
together. He gave me a bracelet with his name on it, and he had one with mine. We
spent years of our lives together. I’ll be forever yours, he said. He was my
other half. We sat at the fire pit in his garden when he told me. He was
leaving. He was one year ahead of me in school and he got a full scholarship for
this university in California. We had never been apart for longer than week.
Then suddenly we
were. Too far apart. We tried to keep contact and we did, but we both had to
focus on ourselves and I couldn’t leave Maine. The first year was okay, we did
everything we could to see each other, we skyped every day, texted, talked on
the phone and saw each other every time we had a chance. We had tried so hard
but we both had exams and not even close to enough time to spare. We skyped,
talked on the phone and texted. We tried. I called, we texted. We grew apart.
We hadn’t talked
for almost five months when he showed up at my door. He took my hand and I followed
him. He had finished School and wanted to celebrate. We went out to our favorite
restaurant and got some great food and a few drinks. We tried, we really did.
Forever yours. He looked down at my wrist, the before black letters had faded
only the white pearls were back. I looked at his wrist. Nothing. The precious memories
replaced by a watch.
That’s how I
knew.
I stayed for a
few hours celebrating with him and some of the friends he invited over. I left.
I ran home crying over what I knew I had lost months ago. He had changed, I had
changed, we had changed. The spark was gone. It was like the guy I loved was
replaced by a cheap copy. Like when a goldfish dies and the parents go out and
buys a new one hoping the kid won’t notice. But of cause I noticed, how couldn’t
I? I looked into his eyes and saw nothing.
A few days later,
I sat him down. The fire pit was almost covered by leafs, but it didn’t take
long before we got a fire started. I held his hand, but quickly let I go, now
wasn’t the time to get too comfy. This time he wore the bracelet too. He
started talking before I could. Sorry, he said. My eyes started tearing up. For
what? I asked. “For lying.” “I can’t be forever yours and it hurts to say it,
but I think we’ll be better off.” I nodded and held his hand again. We both
knew there was nothing left to do, so we just sat there, looking into the
flames. We didn’t want to say goodbye, cause we knew that would be the last
thing we ever said to each other. Instead, when the flames burned out he kissed
my forehead looked me into the eyes and said. I can’t go back to the way I was,
before we were us, before I was me, before we were happier than I’ve ever been
or than you’ll ever see, but that’s the way it has to be.
He held my hand
tighter and I smiled my final smile. Then the heart monitor said the final
beep. He had tears in his eyes when he left the bed. He has an amazing life
ahead of him.
I have trouble
letting go. At least I don’t have to let anything go ever again.
