Introduction
It's getting colder with the seasons changing, but it's still warm enough to walk around outside without a jacket. I do it a lot. My mom used to be concerned and tried to convince me to put it on anyway, but time changes things and that's not what she would have worried about now, after everything.
Everyone has ups and downs in their lives, I know that, of course, but at that point my life was definitely at an all-time low. My second wife just divorced me to be with my (ex)best friend and she won custody of the baby because it really wasn't mine anyway, no they had been together for almost as long as we had been married, but I guess that's just karma getting back at me for how it ended with the first one.
You see, I know it's going to be hard to believe now, but when I was younger, (before I got a beer-belly and my hair disappeared) I was actually fairly attractive. I was in my early twenties she was in her late thirties. We were in Vegas, we were drunk and it just happened! She woke up with a ring on her finger and hopes for a long awaited bright future and I woke up to the sudden realization that I was in my early twenties and no idea what I was doing with my life. She wanted to be a housewife, which meant I had to support the "family" with the money I didn't have and the job I didn't want.
Long story short I left her. We got divorced and I went back to school. Later on I found out that she got a pretty good deal out of it. She had been chatting up one of the smooth talking divorce lawyers and ended up with everything I couldn't be. She got a nice big house, a rich, boring husband and a set of football playing trophy kids.
After the second divorce, I was left with nothing. She got the house, the furniture, the big car and even the dog. Not that I cared too much about the little rat sized creature that dared to call itself a dog, but if I had just gotten something else than the beat up van and my old dirty clothes I might have been able to do something with the remains of my life.
But no. I've ended up here. A forty five year old man with a big white van standing by the front porch of his childhood home, about to ask his eighty three year old mother if there's still room in the basement for the disappointment she calls her son.
All my siblings had moved out years ago. I was the oldest kid. She and my dad had wanted a baby for years. They kept trying but with no success until the miracle happened. I happened. They had my little sister (miracle number two) seven years later. We were a happy family for a while, but a lot can change when you look the other way. My mom was a businesswoman and she traveled around the world a lot. We didn’t see her much in the first few months after my sister had learned how to walk. We didn’t see my dad either. At least not at night. He walked off almost every night after two weeks without mom and came back early in the morning. We later found out that he was busy getting a young woman pregnant to later start a family with her and leave us behind. My childhood wasn't exactly perfect, but I'll come back to that later.
My mother wasn't as happy to see me as I had hoped, but she let me stay anyway. She didn't get a lot of guests and I was probably as good as it got. I had the entire basement for myself and it was pretty much just like I left it. Just with a little more dust.
We made a deal, if I helped her around the house, I could stay free of charge. It was a good deal since my ex-wife got all the furniture and all I really had money for was the gas it took me to get from Washington to Georgia. I lost my house so I had no other choice but to quit my job and move back to Atlanta.
I hadn't seen her in a while, but she was the kind of person you could come back to no matter how badly you screwed up and she'd still let you in and love you like nothing happened.
You have to understand I was truly desperate at that point. I had grown up having to not only take care of myself but also look after my little sister when my mom was out of town. I had to be the man of the house at a very young age. Now, I'm not complaining, it has taught me a lot, but I didn't really have much of a childhood because of it. The point is, I'm not used to ask for help, especially not from my mother. All I really needed was a second chance. I had looked for a new job all over town, but the best I could find was as a clerk at the local supermarket. I took it. I didn’t really have much of a choice.
It worked out pretty well for us. I had a place to stay. She had company. I got lovely homemade food every night. She got to feel like the best mom in the world. And she really was. Until she got sick.
It didn’t seem like much of a surprise to us. She had smoked like a chimney since she was fourteen and died fighting lounge cancer. I looked after her as she slowly wasted away. Illnesses are not as pretty and romanticized in real life as they are in movies. It started out with just being a bad cough, but it got worse every day. She was old and week and didn’t have much strength left in her. In the end, she was barely a person. She couldn’t talk, couldn’t move and every breath she took sounded like it could be her last. Then at the very end she seemed like she was getting better, like peace had come over her and the pain wasn’t as bad, but only few hours later she looked me in the eyes one last time and took her final breath.
The hospital had allowed her to stay home the last two weeks. Her hospital bed was in the middle of the living room and a nurse came to check on her every couple of hours. They knew she didn’t have much time left and it surprised them she had even lasted that long, so they allowed her not to spend her last days in an empty white room that reminded her of how sick she was every time she opened her eyes. I was happy she was home. It was her favorite place in the world. She loved her little garden with her famous apple trees and the beautiful flowers surrounding her herb garden. The bed was faced against the big window on the back wall so she could always look at it. It was probably the second to last thing she ever saw.
We had been through a lot the three years I was with her. My stepbrother, Dylan finally got married after dating the same girl for ten years and had his second son, Chase. My lovely little sister, Brooke became a big thing in the underground art world in Portland and of cause, she got pregnant too. Her husband is nice, he has great strong beard that makes him look like a civilized caveman and has his hair in a little knot on the top of his head to keep it out of his face when he is working. I couldn’t say I wasn’t a little jealous of his incredible hair-growing skills. Jokes aside, I really like him.
It was though having to let her go. We spread her ashes in the same place as her latest husband. Under the big oak tree next to the beautiful river she thought he would have liked. Now their ashes could forever flow in the same river. It was a beautiful little ceremony. We weren’t a lot of people. My sister couldn’t make it. She was almost nine months pregnant and could pop any second. I got to see my brother and his family though. Chase was almost one and his older brother, Kieran was almost four. It was nice to see life work out for the others when I wasn’t that lucky myself.
The will was split up very evenly between my sister and I. We got half the house and half of everything else each. Our stepbrother got my stepdad’s old house and most of his money, so he was totally okay with how she split up her possessions to us.
It was nice to suddenly have my own money in my pocket. I didn’t like borrowing from my mom, and now I would never be able to again.
It was starting to get really hard to live in the house. I saw my mom everywhere. In the living room in her favorite chair with a book in her lap. In the kitchen making her delicious homemade spaghetti or just simply the presence of her. I just felt like she had to be there. The hardest thing to look at was the garden. I saw her in every flower, every leaf and every beam of sunlight shining down on them. I had to have the blinds closed to not cry every time I walked into the living room.
I got drunk. I got really drunk. I got wasted. I was sitting on one of the big stones by the pond in the local park with a half-empty bottle of whiskey in my hand. The sun was on its way down and the sky was filled with different shades of red, orange and purple. I sat there deep in my own thoughts as the night grew darker and the sun disappeared behind the trees.
After what must have been several hours the sky was clear and filled with stars. I noticed a tear running down my cheek. I barely noticed them anymore. I couldn’t keep them in. I would do anything just to start over. To not have to look in the mirror every morning and see an old, sad face starring back at me. To be able to look back at what I’ve done with pride instead of sorrow and anger, but what could I do. I was almost 50 and the only thing I really was proud of was how great my sister turned out.
Chapter 1. The change
It was starting to get cold, so I decided to go home. Well, I tried. I was so drunk I could barely stand up. I tried to get up a couple of times, but I ended up falling every time. At last, I gave up. I laid my head on the cold wet grass and looked up at the stars as more tears ran down my cheeks. I know much about astronomy, but I managed to find Orion, even in my drunken state (which honestly makes me a bit proud to look back on) I tried to find more, but Orion was the only one I could remember.
I spent a while lying there when I saw it. A shooting star making its way across the sky. I made a whish without having to think about it much at all. “I wish to get a second chance.” I tried to get up one more time and this time I managed to get on my feet. I shook my head still looking at the sky, but when I bowed my head down this weird, white light seemed to get closer until it stopped above my head and turned into some fairy dust looking stuff. It rained down on me and I started to get a strange feeling making its way up from my toes. At the time, I just blamed the alcohol. There was no way any of that could be real, but the feeling didn’t stop. It moved up to my legs. The closest thing I could relate it to was growing pains. It felt incredibly weird and ultimately I ended up back on the ground.
I had cramps all over my body and I had to grit my teeth to not accidentally bite off my tongue. The pain was unbearable and I couldn’t imagine how bad it would be if I was sober. It kept moving up. I could feel it in my fingers. I looked at my hands and couldn’t believe what I saw. The wrinkles were fading away and they got smaller. I started to panic. I wanted to get up and run away or something, but the pain made it hard to do anything at all. I wiggled my toes and moved my legs. They felt smaller too.
I was really starting to regret being alone in a big park in the middle of the night. It moved up to my head and at that point the pain got so bad I think I fainted. At least the next thing I remembered was being woken up by an old woman with a dog.
“Are you all right?” She looked at me like I was some kind of alien. It took me a moment to realize I hadn’t answered her, so I nodded and jumped up to the best of my ability. My clothes felt at least five sizes too big and my pants almost fell of when I stood up. I must have looked like a confused puppy or something because her expression changed from confusion to a slight head-tilt and the little half smile you would make at a toddler who mispronounced a word. “Are you sure? You seem a little lost.” I nodded again while anxiously looking for something with a reflection. I took my phone out of my pocket and when I saw what I looked like, my jaw must have dropped 16 stories down in hell. I looked 16? 17? 18? No, 17. I could tell by the hair. I must have scared the life out of the poor old woman, but she didn’t leave. She grabbed my arm and made me follow her home.
“You know, it isn’t good for people your age to drink.” She had placed me in a fancy old leather chair and given me a cup of tea. “Do you realize I found you at 6am?” “You must have been out all night, your parents must be sick with worry.” She didn’t keep me for long, but she insisted on driving me home. I was in complete shock. I ran into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. 31 years had vanished from my face overnight. “What th…” I blocked my mouth with my hands. “Oh my god my voice!” I made weird sounds and faces in the mirror for at least ten minutes before I realized I just spent 10 minutes making weird sounds and faces at the mirror. Then the phone rang.
If you thought, I was panicked before you should have seen me then. I picked it up and before I could even say a word, I heard my sister’s husband yell out “Fletcher! Brooke is in labor! I’m gonna be a dad, Fletcher! A dad” He seemed just as panicked as me, which gave me a weird feeling of comfort. “Calm down, John! I’ll be there soon.” I hung up the phone just as the words left my mouth. “I’m going to be an uncle… a 17 year old uncle…”
Chapter 2. What to do
I’ll spare you the details of the few hours I basically spent walking around in circles trying to cope with the situation I was put in. I was pretty sure John was too panicked to notice how different my voice was, so I still had a chance to figure out the best way to explain what the hell was going on, but honestly there was no way anyone was going to believe this if they only heard it over the phone.
My first thought on how to deal with it was to go to the store and buy some more whiskey, but then I realized there was no way I could buy it without having to show ID and no way to show ID without having to explain why it says I’m 31 years older than I look. Instead, I decided to look at what was left in the bottles in the kitchen. Most of the things around the house was already packet into boxes. A lot of people where interested in the house and we already had a family who put in an offer, so I had to get used to the thought of moving out again. We both liked the family, so we accepted their offer and told them they could move in as soon as everything was moved out.
There was a little pile of things in the corner that my sister wanted, but most of the furniture stayed in the house for the new owners. I didn’t want it and it would be too much of a hassle to get them all the way to Oregon. My friend had an apartment he rented out that he let me stay in until I found something better. I had to be out two days later, but now I wasn’t so sure about getting that apartment.
I found an almost empty bottle of vodka and poured the last drops in a shot glass and drank it. It burned as soon as it touched the tip of my tongue and I had to spit most of it out because of it. It felt like the first time I tasted it. The burning sensation didn’t stop and I had to drink three big glasses of water to cool my mouth down. I decided not to do that again and instead opened the box with mine and my brother’s old clothes to find something that fit better than what I was wearing. We were just going to give it to charity anyway. I found a little of everything. Three pairs of pants, some tee shirts, hoodies, socks, a jacket and a pair of black converse all stars I hadn’t used for 28 years. I changed into a plain black shirt, a hoodie from my old high school, a pair of jeans and put on the shoes and jacket. I grabbed all the bags with the clothes I didn’t need and some of the boxes of old trinkets and books, threw them in the back of the van and drove down to the salvation army and dropped the clothes in the containers behind the store. I had to go inside with the boxes, so it wasn’t quite as easy as I thought. One of the clerks helped me get the boxes inside and thanked me for the good efforts. She told me that if I was her son, she would be one of the proudest mothers in the world. I thanked her and made my way back to the van. I didn’t really know how to take that compliment. Six boxes of old stuff sure made that woman happy. I got back in the van and drove home.
There was only a few boxes left in the house, most of which were reserved for my sister. I had promised her go bring them the next time I visited her, and that was what I intended to do. I came up with a plan on my way home. I was going on a road trip.
Chapter 3. Camping van
To be honest, I didn’t do much planning, but I had an idea and I was going to make it work. I still had two days to get it ready and if I worked hard enough, I could probably get a pretty good result. I was going to turn the van into some kind of camper. I wanted to do something like it when I drove to Atlanta, but it was still full of all the wood and tools my ex-wife made me bring with me from my old job as a carpenter and now I’m happy she did. I made a blueprint of the layout I wanted and got to work. The van was pretty big, so I had enough space to work with, but I still had to have room enough to bring the boxes and have a decent place to sleep.
One of my old colleges did the same thing to his old van, so I had a pretty decent idea of where to start. I put made sure the plating on the inside was good enough to hold up a bed. Then I measured the insides starting from where the sliding door on the side stopped and all the way to the back.
I measured up a couple of feet from the top so there would be enough room for a sitting area and a place to store the boxes underneath the big plate of wood that later would become the bed.
I didn’t do it as nicely and proper as I would if I had had more time, but it worked and that was the important part. I took the widest of the old mattresses I had laying around and cut it up to make it fit into the bedframe I made. I had spent a couple of hours, but since I didn’t need it to look perfect it wasn’t as hard as I had imagined.
After a short break I added a little mix of a shelf and a table to the side opposite the door so I had a place to cook and store some of the essential stuff I would need. Clothes, food, a toothbrush and toothpaste, plastic plates, glasses and stuff, you get the point. I made little benches on both sides underneath the bed. It was the optimal place, because there wasn’t room enough to stand up straight but there was more than enough room to sit down. I made the benches hollow and open in the side so I could get to the things under it by opening the door in the back or looking under the seat. I added some pillows from the outdoor furniture and made a table between them.
I didn’t plan on getting into as much detail as I did, but I liked how it was looking so far and after two days of almost constant work I made some finishing touches and made it look like a proper little home. I had looked through a lot of the things we were going to throw out and found some great stuff I use. I found a cooler, a portable stove and a big water tank since I gave up on makeshift plumbing. I had to cut a hole through the wall between the front and the back of the car to get power to the cooler and the stove, but it worked and looked fine. The only thing left to do was move in.
I packed like I would for a one week holiday, except for the fact that I had to bring a fair amount of moving boxes and stuff too. I used a rope to tie my bike and some fold out furniture to the top of the van so I didn’t have to worry about it taking up room inside. I put as many things as I could in the spaces and shelves I had made for them, but I still ended up with a ton of boxes with no place to go. In lack of time and better ideas, I stacked them up against the wall between the front and the back and used the last of the rope to get them into place.
I stepped put and looked at my finished work. To be honest, I thought it was the coolest thing I’d ever made. I finished about an hour before the new family was supposed to arrive, so I left the keys to the house under the doormat as I promised and headed off so I would be long gone when they arrived.
Chapter 4. On the road
I got a little paranoid that I might have forgotten something important, but I was sure I hadn't. I always felt that way when I left the house, that's why I double checked everything before I left. I had everything ready to go. I had my wallet, keys, phone and literally everything else in the back. But then I remembered. Sure I had my driver’s license, but it said I was 31 years older than I looked. I looked in the rear view mirror and compared myself to the picture on the license. It was really creepy how much I looked like myself.
I drove for a couple of hours only stopping for coffee or to use the bathroom. I was incredibly tired and all my muscles were sore, so I decided to call it a day. I parked behind some bushes and trees by the side of the road. It had been more than a mile since I last saw a house, so I was pretty sure no one was going to complain. I got in the back, changed into something more comfortable and wrote a little in my journal before I climbed into my bunk and tried to sleep.
My mind was one big mess. I hadn't had time to even remotely think this through. I had made it to western Tennessee and still not run into to any problems, so that's one good thing. I had really big trouble trying to get used the fact that I was young again. My little sister was 41. I didn't make any sense to me. All I had ever done was look out for her until she was old enough to take care of herself. It made me uncomfortable to think about it , so I tried to think of anything else to make it stop, but I couldn't. I spent what felt like hours trying to clear my head before I finally managed to fall asleep.
Chapter 5. A new friend
I woke up to the sound of something moving around outside the van. It was raining pretty heavily, so I figured it was someone who tried to seek shelter. I climbed down from the bunk, put some pants on and opened the door. At first, I didn’t see anything, so I had almost closed the door when I saw the little creature sticking its head out from underneath the van. He was tiny and shy, so I had to go outside and carry him into van.
It was a little puppy, I wasn’t sure which breed but it looked like a mix of a husky and maybe a border collie or something. He was malnourished and looked like he had spent all his life on the street. “Poor little angel”. He looked more like a husky, but the colours of his fur were mostly white and brown with darker spots and specks.
I tried to clean most of the dirt off him before I dried his short fur in the shirt I wore the day before. I looked at clock on my phone; it was 01.13. He ran around the van sniffing everything he saw before he sat down at my feet and looked up at me with his big blue eyes. I sat down next to him and scratched him behind his ear. “Hey little guy.” He tilted his head to the side. “You look like a spot, don’t you? I like it.”
He barked when I said it, so I figured he must have liked it too. I gave him some of the sausages I had in the cooler and decided to take him to the vet when I got up again, but for now I took him up in the bunk with me and got a few more hours of sleep.
He licked my face until I got up. “What’s wrong?” He motioned his head down to the floor. I climbed out of the bunk and carried him down with me afterwards. I put him down outside the van and he started peeing right away. At first, I was scared he was going to run away, but he kept looking at me like he was scared I was going to leave him. When he was done doing his business, he ran right back to my feet and started barking up at me.
I ate some breakfast and gave Spot the rest of the sausages before I drove off to find the closest veterinarian. I typed it into the GPS on my phone and got into the front of the van. I put Spot in the passenger seat and headed off.
It took me less than 20 minutes to get there. It was a little building with limited parking, but it didn’t seem busy so I just walked right in. There was only one other person in the line, so it wasn’t hard to get an appointment. I waited until the other guy came out again and then they were ready to see me, or him I guess. The vet was a very nice looking lady with short blonde hair and black glasses. I think she was about 40, but her face had almost no wrinkles and she didn’t really have any grey hairs.
She asked me a few questions while she checked him. Where I had found him, if I knew where he came from and if I was planning on keeping him. I answered that I was and that I simply found him in the middle of nowhere and had no idea where he came from.
Apparently he was perfectly healthy apart from the fact that he was very thin and needed to gain some weight. He was about nine weeks old and there was no sign of him being anything but a street dog, so while we were there we got him some shots and a bag of food. She told me the directions to a local pet shop, so I could get the rest of the things I needed to have a dog.
I thanked her for her time, paid, got the stuff and drove off to the pet store.
Chapter 6. Pet shop adventures
It didn’t take me too long to find it, but having a puppy bark every time he sees something new outside the window didn’t really help with my driving, especially when I still had to get used to putting a little more pressure on the pedals to make them work. It was cute, I’ll give him that but I really hoped he was going to get tired when we came back from the pet shop.
I found it after driving around for about 15 minutes. It was in a big shopping area with at least 50 different shops and 9 restaurants. I took Spot with me and held him as I walked around in the store. It was huge I mean HUGE. Probably the biggest pet store I’ve ever been in. It had different sections for every animal or every type of animal. I was pretty sure the rabbits, hamsters and guinea pigs were all in the same section, but you get the point. It looked like some kind of tropical jungle area and it was pretty damn hot in there. It looked like they had put a ton of work into making it look cool and I would say they succeeded.
It was easy enough to get to where you had to be, but there was things for every pet you could imagine. The reptiles had this huge area with big fake rocks and trees you could see right when you walked in. I got myself a shopping cart and started looking for the dog section. I got some normal, plain metal bowls for his food and water. I wanted to get him a basket or at least something nice and soft to sleep on, but I wasn’t really sure how big he was going to get, so I looked for an employee to get some help picking out the best one.
I managed to find a young man who didn’t look too busy. He was probably in his mid-twenties. He had brown hair down to an inch below his ear and wore a black beanie. He took a look at spot and told me that I probably was right about his breed. At least we agreed he had to be half husky. He then went over to one of the biggest baskets in the store. One with a great Dane on the packaging and told me that if I got that one I would be on the safe side. He then said “better safe than sorry am I right?” and snapped his fingers as he pointed at me. I managed a forced laugh and thanked him for his help as I stood there with a huge basket in one hand and a tiny puppy in the other. I ended up with getting a smaller one with a beagle on it. It would last him at least a few months and I could always get him a bigger one once I got to Oregon.
I put the basket in the cart with the bowls and put Spot down in it. He curled up in it immediately and didn’t seem to care that in was still wrapped in plastic. It was much easier to move around and get things down from the shelves. I got him a few toys and a pack of tennis balls to play with. I found some treats on my way over to look at some different collars. I chose a blue one that worked a lot like a belt in the way that you could adjust it. I figured it would be a good choice since he wasn’t going to stay that small. I didn’t like the idea of dragging the little guy around in the collar, so I got him one of those little harnesses so the leash wouldn’t be as tough on his neck. I was almost at the register when I saw a little booth that made the little signs for collar. I thought I was going to have to go to some kind of specialist to have that done, but apparently not.
It was pretty simple. You chose the shape and the colour of the little metal thing, then you told the lady the name you wanted engraved on the front and the information you wanted engraved on the back. She then typed it into the machine and a minute later you got yourself a little sign. I chose a plain silver bone and got Spot engraved on the front and Brooke’s phone number and my email on the back.
After about an hour roaming around and getting all the stuff, I finally made it to the register. I paid for all the things and put as much of it as I could in the basket so it would be easier to carry. I had to put Spot on the leash if I wanted to make it back in one trip, so I did. He didn’t seem to be scared of it or in any way dislike it, so we made it back without any problems. Somehow, without any training or anything, he was one of the most well-mannered dogs I had ever known. I put the things on one side of the bench and went back out to get some lunch.
I looked at the different restaurants for a couple of minutes, but I ended up just getting a burger and a coke from burger king. I asked for it to-go and ate with Spot in the back of the van. I wrote in my journal and looked at the GPS. We were still in Tennessee. I wanted to make to the middle of Missouri before I took another break.
Chapter 7. On the road again
Driving isn’t exactly the most eventful thing you can do. I put the basket in the passenger seat and secured it with the seatbelt so it didn’t move. Spot seemed very satisfied with my decision. He curled up in it and fell asleep soon after.
I drove for a few hours but had to stop to get gas before I made it to the middle of Missouri. It wasn’t far off, so I decided to take a break there. I filled up the tank, put Spot on a leash, got some coffee and went out to stretch my legs a bit. We went on a little walk around the woods at the tank station. It was right by one of the big roads, so you could see some different tall buildings and what looked like factories. We only walked for a few minutes. Until I finished my coffee and Spot finished peeing.
We went back to the van but instead of going back on the road, I got in the back, set an alarm for half an hour later and took a nap in the bunk. Spot started making concerned noises, so I brought him up with me. The coffee hadn’t done its job, so I fell asleep very easily and woke up half an hour later when the alarm went off. It was 5 pm. I crawled down from the bunk and went back in the front after making sure nothing was going to move around while I was driving.
I turned on some music to make the long drive a bit more enjoyable. I had a ton of CDs in a box in the little compartment in the passenger side of the car. They used to be sorted neatly in alphabetical order but now it was just one big mess. I took out the one closet to me and put it in the CD player. “Hot Fuss” by the Killers. A good one. I nodded to myself as I started the car. I ended up listening to two more albums before I stopped for dinner. American Idiot by Greenday and the new one, X, by Ed Sheeran. Sure, my music taste was not exactly normal or in one specific genre, but I’ve never really been normal myself, so how can you blame me.
I wasn’t feeling too fancy, so I just went to the closest Taco Bell. I got some tacos, used the restroom and once again ate in the car. I poured up some food for Spot too so he wouldn’t look at me with those big blue eyes until I felt bad enough to give him some of mine. I was starting to really enjoy having him with me. I didn’t really like to talk to people looking this young, they made me feel like a kid. They always looked at me like I was just some lost soul who couldn’t take of himself. Spot was just happy. A nice, little, furry friend.
As I ate, I got a text from Brooke. It was a picture of my little niece. She didn’t have a name yet, but she was the cutest little baby. She had her mother’s nose and her father’s big, happy smile. Her eyes were closed, so I couldn’t see which colour they were, but I was sure they were beautiful. I wrote her a long text about how beautiful her daughter was and how I was going to be there soon. I told her I had made it to a little town close to the border of Nebraska and that I was going to show up with a big surprise. She answered with a smiley face…
I drove for a little more than an hour before I called it a night. I was in a little village in the bottom right corner of Nebraska as the sun made its way down. I parked on top of a hill looking out over a lake. I opened the door to the back so Spot could be where he wanted. I took one of the folding chairs down from the roof and grabbed a beer from the cooler. I sat with my back to the open door and looked at the sunset. It was late August. The sky was covered in different shades of purple, pink, red and orange. It was beautiful. Spot ran around for a while but sat down next to me after a few minutes. I was once again in the middle of nowhere, so I decided to stay there for the night.
When the sun was down and the sky was dark, I folded the chair back together and crept back into the bunk. This time not even thinking about leaving the little fur-ball in his basket. I laid on my side and he used my arm as a pillow. I listened to his calm breathing as I dossed off.
Chapter 8. Time for a break
Spot woke me up by crawling up to my head and licking my face. It was a nice way to wake up, but my face got kind of gross. Thinking about it, it wasn’t just my face that was gross. I hadn’t showered since I left the house two days ago. The water tank was almost empty, so I couldn’t do it by the car.
I thought about trying to fill it up with water from the lake, but it didn’t look clean or clear from the top of the hill. The only other idea I could come up with was getting into a swimming pool or a gym to get a shower there. It probably wasn’t the best idea I’d ever had but it had to do. I used the last water in the tank to fill up Spot’s bowl and to shave and brush my teeth. It was nice to actually have hair on my head, but it was a bit too long for my liking. I didn’t want to cut it myself, so I figured, if I was going to find somewhere to take a shower, I might as well just find somewhere to get my hair cut.
I only drove for about ten minutes before I found the local gym. I had packed a bag with a set of clean clothes and a towel so I was ready when I found one. I let Spot pee before I went inside. I had to leave him in the car, so to make it nice for him I left the ac on and left him in his basket in the passenger seat.
I had to pay to get in, so I thought, why would I not actually train while I was there? I only trained for about 45 minutes, because I had only paid to stay there for an hour. I just did it in the clothes I was already wearing; it was just some sweatpants and a t-shirt, so it wasn’t weird or anything. It was fun. I was in much better shape than I was a week ago, who would have figured? A pretty average 17 year old was in better shape than a chubby middle-aged man was.
The shower was great and if I hadn’t needed it before, I definitely needed it then. I changed into the clean set of clothes and went back to the van.
Spot was very happy to see me as he always was. I let out and put him on the leash. We took a walk and by some miracle came across a hairdresser. Dogs weren’t allowed inside, but they had a little pole with a hook outside meant for tying the leashes to, so I tied him to it.
I didn’t really know how I wanted my hair, so I just told her to surprise me. It was a nice little place. It wasn’t a very big town, but it was big enough to have its own little shopping street with all that that includes. It had charming little shops and the main street was made of cobblestone. There were trees and flowers in little flowerbeds between every shop. Some were prettier than others, but it gave it a nice in the big picture. It also helped that the sun was shining.
The hairdressers name was Lauren. She was a nice looking young woman in her twenties. She told me that she had just finished her education and that she had only worked there full time for a few days. She kept up a nice conversation while she was snipping at my hair. I enjoyed it. She didn’t seem like she did it just to make it less awkward, she seemed genuinely interested. She asked what me about how school was going, so I had to make something up that kind of fit with what I was actually doing. I told her I had graduated from high school, had been on a road trip during the summer and was making my way home to Oregon. It was kind of close to the truth, so I didn’t feel bad about lying to her. She wouldn’t have believed the real truth anyway.
I hadn’t looked at the time while she was working, so I didn’t know exactly how long it had been. It hadn’t felt long and Spot still looked fine. I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. It wasn’t easy to make the curly mess that I called my hair look good, but she had somehow done the impossible. It was shorter on the sides but it still had some length on the top. It looked nice. I thanked Lauren for her work, paid and left. It was about 1pm at that point, so I decided to stay in town for lunch, but I really had to get back on the road soon if I wanted to see my niece before she got a college degree.
Chapter 9. The fight
I had a light lunch. I got a sandwich from a little stand by the entrance of the park and ate it under an oak tree by a little pond. It was a dog park, so Spot got to run around for a bit and got lots of attention from a group of smaller kids who thought, and I quote: he was the cutetest of all the little doggies. I didn’t quite understand why incorrect grammar from smaller kids was so cute, it just was.
The park wasn’t too big and the pond took up about a fourth of it. It was basically just a big field of grass with a pond and some trees. I shouldn’t expect it to be much more and the dogs certainly didn’t care, but I just felt like something was missing.
We left when I had finished eating my sandwich and saved Spot from the attention of the little kids. We headed back to the parking lot, but as we got nearer we could hear lout yelling coming from it. I tied Spot to one of the trees and went investigating. A group of four tall, scrawny kids about my age maybe a bit older were picking on this girl. I guess you could describe her as a punk, but from the look in her eyes, she just looked like a normal girl who had been through a lot. She looked tough and if it hadn’t been for the look in her eyes, I would have probably left her alone. She had pastel blue hair and wore big black boots, an old looking jean jacket covered in patches, black ripped skinny jeans and a Nirvana shirt.
I wasn’t exactly scrawny myself, I was pretty sure I could take at least two of them out singlehandedly, so I just went in there without thinking too much about it. The guys weren’t as tall up close as they were from the distance, in fact I was about the same height as the tallest of them, the girl was just pretty short. One of them was holding her up against the side of a wall, so I walked straight up to that guy and pushed him away from her. It wasn’t hard to get him out of the way at all, he was about 6 foot 1 and wore very baggy clothes. He was surprised at first but his face quickly turned into anger. He didn’t talk, he just hit me, or tried to at least. It probably didn’t even look cool, I didn’t stop his fist with my hand or turn my head at the last second, I just pushed his arm out of the way.
This went on for a couple of seconds, then his friends joined in. One of them hit me in the jaw. It hurt, but it wasn’t too bad. I hit him back but twice as hard. A good old-fashioned punch to the nose. I could hear a crack, so I probably broke it. He retreated from the fight right as I saw it. One of them had a knife. It wasn’t big, but he could kill me with it if he wanted to. They came at me two at a time as one of them checked up on the one with the broken nose. I took a punch to the stomach and the guy with the knife made a cut right above my left eyebrow. I didn’t think it was on purpose, but he looked proud of it anyway.
I punched the unarmed one under the chin so he bit his tongue and broke the unwritten rule with the other one. I kneed him in the balls… I took the knife out of his hand, grabbed the girl by her wrist and ran to safety. All before the fourth guy could make a proper move. She didn’t fight it, so when we got closer to the van I let go of her and got into the driver’s seat. She got into the passenger seat at the same time, so I started the car and drove off without even saying a word.
When I got to the tree where Spot was tied up the guy was at a safe distance, but he was getting closer. I stopped the car, jumped out to Spot and untied him. He seemed confused and didn’t move, so I just picked him up and carried him into the van with me. The girl looked concerned. I got in, put Spot on her lap and drove off again within a matter of seconds. The guy was still way behind us. I kept driving without talking for more than half a mile before I was sure the guy had stopped chasing us and I slowed down.
-“Are you okay?” -“I’m not the one who’s bleeding, am I?” –“I guess you have a point.” She looked down to the sleepy pup on the lap and then back to me. -“I’m Serena by the way.” “thanks for helping me back there.” –“No worries, you looked like you needed it.” –“You have no idea…” She looked troubled. –“I’m Fletcher, I don’t remember if I told you.” –“Fletcher, huh?” “Well what’s with the van, Fletcher?” “Most people your age drive some kind of fancy thing their parents got them for their 16th birthday.” I laughed a bit at the last comment. “I can show you the back, if you want, then you’ll get it” –“Sure, but you have to tell me one thing first. You’re a good guy, right? You won’t murder me back there, will you?” I laughed again and opened the door. –“Yeah, I’m a good guy, I promise I won’t murder you.”
We had stopped a little out of town. There were a few trees and some lampposts, but it was far from being as nicely decorated as the inner city. I opened the door to the back and let Serena take a look at it. Spot jumped in before I could stop him and curled up in his basket. -“So you live here?” I nodded and looked around. I had a feeling that I should have probably put a little more work into making it look nice. It wasn’t decorated much at all and it didn’t really look as impressive as the picture my colleague showed me of his, but it worked and that itself was pretty impressive.
-“Yes, I do, but only while I’m on the road. When I get to Oregon, I’ll have a real place to live.” –“A real place? This is awesome! Sure, it could do with some decorations, but it’s really incredible! Where did you find this? Online?” -“No, I… I built it myself” –“Oh you built it yourself.” She sounded very sarcastic. “What are you, like 17? How could you possibly build this yourself?” –“Well, I’m a carpenter, or well, trying to be. I’m getting an education.”
-“You’re serious, huh? Well that’s really impressive.”
She just stood there nodding for a while, looking around and smiling a little. She was extraordinarily beautiful. Sure, she might act and dress tough, but she looked innocent and sweet. Her eyes were a light green colour that could possibly look blue in different light. You could almost see a cold spring day in them, where the flowers were slowly making their way through the hard cold dirt and the birds were flying back. Light green like the early leafs with hints of blue like the clear water on the first day of summer. You could drown in those eyes and think it was worth it. Her skin was pale and clear even in late august it made you wonder what it would look like in early February, would it be as white as the snow surrounding her? Her lips were thin, but they still looked full. They were pink. Naturally pink. She didn’t use makeup and she didn’t need to. Her nose was a little crooked, but somehow it made the rest of her face look even more beautiful. She was irresistible. I could tell I would do anything for this girl.
She looked up at me. She was at least half a foot shorter than me. Her blue hair made her look younger and more creative and I was pretty sure she was around 18 or 19, but if she told me she was 21 or 22 I would believe her.
I tried to keep a conversation up so she wouldn’t leave. -“So, what was with those jerks? Why were they bothering you?” –“Well…” She smile faded “Believe it or not, the guy you so nobly kicked in the balls is my ex” I looked a mix of confused and concerned. –“That still doesn’t explain why he was bothering you” –“Honestly, Fletcher, it’s not a very nice story.” She looked at me like I was some naïve kid who had never faced real life before. -“That’s okay, I can take it.” She shook her head a little and sat down on one side of the table. I didn’t want to come on too strong, so I sat down opposite her. –“Well listen up, buddy. It’s story time.”
Chapter 10. Serena
I later found out that look was less about me, and more about her. It was no easy story to tell.
-“It’s kind of a long story, but I’ll try to only give you the highlights.” I nodded my head slowly and adjusted my shirt. I didn’t really know why, it was just something I did when I didn’t know what else to do. She was tense. It clearly wasn’t easy for her. –“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” She shook her head still looking very tense. –“No, really, I’ll tell you, it’s okay.” She made one final nod and started talking.
“It all started when I was about 5 or 6. My mom had me when she was very young; she was still in high school when she got pregnant. The first few years were great. She was a great mother and she took good care of me even though she didn’t get much help. I loved her very much, but she was in a terrible accident. She was on her way home from work and she was supposed to pick me up on the way, but she never showed up. At first I didn’t know what had happened to her, but I later found out that she was hit by a car. It was dark and she was walking home, so the driver didn’t see her.” She shed a tear, but I could tell she was trying to hide it. “Ever since then, I’ve just been jumping from foster family to foster family. Don’t get me wrong, some of them were nice, but most of them just treated me like an old dog they didn’t want anymore.” Her face changed to disgust and she wiped her tears away with gritted teeth.
We kept the conversation going for a while. She told me all about her past and how she ended up almost getting beat up by the group of guys. She was an independent artist, but she had trouble paying for her art supplies and her apartment. She wasn’t in the best company and her ex-boyfriend made her sell drugs to earn enough money to pay for her rent. She ended up getting addicted herself, but she had been clean for about six months, when she told me. Once she found out how much he had affected her life and in how bad of a way, she broke up with him. She left the apartment and only packed what she could carry in a few bags. She hadn’t had enough money to get a new place to live, so she had been going from place to place living on the streets up until now.
It was obvious that she hadn’t told that story to anyone else. She sighed and looked like she was getting ready to leave. “Well, Fletcher, thanks for helping me, I’ll uhm… I’ll leave you be. It was nice to meet you.” She stood up and made her way towards the door. –“Wait!” She stopped and turned her head my way. “where are you going to stay? I don’t want you to live on the streets.” She moved closer to me. –“I’ll figure something out, you don’t have to worry. I’ve survived until now, I’m sure I’ll survive.” She moved closer to the door again. –“Or you could stay with me.” She stopped dead in her tracks, ran back and hugged me. –“I would love to.”
Chapter 11. Picking up the pieces
We stood there a little and looked at each other. She didn't say anything. She just looked deep into my eyes. Spot apparently didn't like the silence because after what must have been only a few seconds, he ran up to my foot and started barking. Serena started laughing and bent down to pet him.
We drove back to the city to pick up the few things Serena owned. She sat in the passenger seat with Spot on her lap. He was obviously very happy about it. He could just about reach the window and he barked whenever he saw something he found interesting. Serena stopped petting him when we got closer to the city. She looked uncomfortable and gave me very clear directions to where to find her bag.
We drove into a dark alley between a couple of tall buildings. It was cluttered and filled with empty cardboard boxes. To be honest, it wasn't the worst place to be if you had to live on the street. She walked in between two containers filled to the brim with trash. She kneeled down and dug a bag out from behind the biggest one. I walked closer and started to see where she had lived for at least a few weeks. She had slept on a few cardboard boxes stacked in a corner underneath a balcony from one of the apartments above so they didn't get wet when it rained. She must have moved the containers herself because they formed a little room that looked waterproof. On the wall opposite her bed there even was a little tap. It was dripping so it must have worked. It started to make sense that she didn't exactly look homeless. She packed up the sleeping bag that was scrunched up in the corner. It was clear to see someone had lived there, she had left her own marks. There were drawings and paintings on some of the bricks. Some of them even had sketches edged into them. No matter how horrible it must have been, she had made it her own.
It didn't take long for her to pack all the things she needed. Most of them were art supplies. A bunch of different paintbrushes stuck out on the side of her duffle bag. It wasn't filled to the brim, but there weren't much space left. She only had a few other pieces of clothing besides the ones she was already wearing, so it was hard to tell what else was in there. I didn't think much more about it. Her life had been hell; I figured she needed some privacy.
I offered to carry her bag, but she would rather do it herself. I went into the grocery store I saw on the way there. I told Serena she could do whatever she wanted. I didn't want to make her go in there with me while she was carrying the big bag. Instead she just stayed by the car and played with Spot.
I only wanted to buy what was completely necessary since we were running low on space . I needed more water especially since there was no longer just one passenger in my little van. I bought some bread for breakfast and some different things to put on it. I was running low on toothpaste so I brought a new tube. I also brought another toothbrush because I wasn't sure if Serena had one. I was getting ready to go to the checkout, but for better or for worse there was a sale on chips, so I bought a couple of bags. I had plenty of dog food for Spot, so there was no need to buy any more of that. I wanted to have a dinner that took a little more effort that just adding some boiling water to a cup of noodles, so I got some ingredients for burgers.
I got out of the store with three bags of groceries. I was a little disappointed in myself, but to be honest it made the night much better to have homemade dinner instead of another round of takeout or ramen.
I walked back to the car and Spot immediately ran up to me and jumped up to see what was in the bags. Serena sat with her back against the side of the car and over-dramatically reached out for Spot when he ran away from her. It looked a little like a re-enactment of the scene from the lion king where Mufasa fell off the cliff.
Spot ran back to her when I opened the door and put the groceries in the cooler. I left all the things that didn't need to be refrigerated in the bags and put them in a corner where they wouldn't move when we drove.
When I came back out Serena had Spot in her arms and struggled to get the door open. I opened it up for her and got in on the other side. She looked at me differently all of a sudden I couldn't really describe in what way but it felt nice. I didn't turn on the music, I just started the car and drove on.
Chapter 12. Cinderblock gardens
We sat in the car and talked for a while. She was funny. The kind of person who doesn't even have to try, she just was. After a few miles on the long road she fell asleep. Spot had his head on one of her feet and fell asleep shortly after her. She was leaning up against the slightly open window so the wind blew through her hair every now and again. She looked so peaceful. Her makeup was a little smeared under one eye and her breathing was slow and calm. Sometimes she would smile or move a little. I tried to avoid the bumps and holes on the road so I wouldn't wake her up. In a way I felt weird for liking her that much. If it hadn't been for my sudden dip in the fountain of youth she could have been my daughter. It didn't feel like it though. Somehow I had gotten used to my new, or I guess old face. It felt wrong to think of myself as anything but a 17 year old. Everything I did even a week ago felt like it was in another lifetime. It was a really weird feeling. It was starting to feel like my past didn't matter, that the only thing I had to do was make it to Oregon and see my sister and tell her about what happened.
The plan was so simple, but when I looked over at the girl sitting next to me things started to get complicated. I didn't even know what I was thinking when I asked her to join me. It would be weird enough for me to show up years younger and expect everyone to be okay with it, but it would be even weirder if I showed up with her.
She was beautiful. Her hair was tied up, but it didn't seem to bother her. She was wearing one of my old hoodies. It was way too big for her. When she was standing up it went halfway down to her knees and the sleeves were at least three inches too long. It reminded me of when Brooke was little and put on my shirts when she missed me. I would come home from a weekend at a friend's house and see her running up to me wearing the shirt I wore the day before I left.
Serena moved around in her seat and slowly opened her eyes after a big yawn. She looked at me a little. I was concentrating on the road, but I could still see her out the corner of my eye. She pulled the hoodie off to reveal one of my old t-shirts. She didn't have much clothes of her own, so I let her use mine. She was obviously still tired, but she seemed intent on staying awake. She let her hair down and wore the hair band around her wrist.
The wind outside was blowing dead leaves all over the road and every once in a while one would hit the windshield. Spot thought it was very interesting and kept jumping up every time it happened. Serena did her best to calm him down, but who has ever successfully calmed down an exited puppy? It went on for quite a while, but Spot eventually ran out of energy. He jumped down from her lap and laid his head on one of her feet. It had gotten too hot for him in the sunlight from the window, so he felt much better down there.
Serena sat next to me with closed eyes. She was still tired, but she told me she couldn't sleep. We were driving into an area with a bit more houses. I had deliberately stayed off the bigger roads to avoid seeing any cops. Even though I obviously looked like the photo in my drivers license, it still said I was 30 years older than I looked, and I would hate having to explain that. I drove into a gas station with fairly low prices and filled up the tank. While I was there, I went in and brought us coffee. I didn’t really know what to get us, so I just ordered two of whatever sounded the fanciest on the menu and returned to the car. It wasn’t as warm outside as it was in the car, even with the air conditioning on. But I was still pleased when I found out that the fancy drinks turned out to be iced coffees. I opened the door to the passenger seat. While I had been inside Serena had moved the van out to the parking lots so the other cars could get a chance to fill up their tanks too. Spot immediately jumped out and ran around in circles, chasing his own tail. I shook my head slightly and smirked at Serena as I handed her the drink. I put the other one in a cup holder and stepped outside again to keep an eye on the puppy.
Serena walked out of the car and joined me. She gave me my drink and sat down next to the dog who, for now, had not had any luck actually catching his tail. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the leash. “We should take him for a walk” she said, and so we did. The area around the gas station wasn’t as interesting as some of the places we drove by on the way there. The asphalt was old and broken and some of the buildings had broken windows and were covered in graffiti. It wasn’t ugly though, it wasn’t pretty like the trees and fields in nature, but it was beautiful in its own way. Some of the graffiti could have been in a museum, it was abstract and had an interesting colour pallet. We walked for a while in this little slice of urban life. We didn’t talk, the only noise was from the raindrops that multiplied with every step we took.
This story will be updated as I keep writing. If you want to see the updates faster you can follow me on wattpad @-Rikke
Thanks for reading
-Rikke
